I first met Jenni eight years ago. She was a volunteer peer counselor at the pregnancy resource center where I served as director, and where she still volunteers today. Not only that, but she had been there longer than any other volunteer—since 1997. She is the servant every church wants but few have found. Name a church ministry and Jenni probably has been involved in it, now or at some other point in her life. The Lord also has gifted her with great musical talent and she gladly uses it to bless Him. She is known by many in the Christian community as well as the community at large because she has touched so many lives for Jesus. One afternoon at the PRC she told me a part of her story that I have asked her to share with you. Her story resonated with me because it involves family, in-laws and forgiveness—a topic with which we all can identify!

I grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, Mark Twain's boyhood home town.  My mother was (and still is) a devout Roman Catholic; my father was a “born again” Christian who loved my mother dearly.  “Franma,” as everyone calls my mom, had four children in six years, and I was the oldest.  I grew up quickly when my younger sister, Gayle, contracted Rheumatic fever and was left with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Gayle became very ill when I was about six years old.  My first remembrance of a “turn” in my life was made on a swing on a playground between the church and school that was a block away from our home.  At that point, I made my first “deal” with God.  I promised that I would devote the rest of my life to Him—which at the time I thought meant becoming a nun—if God would let my little sister live.  She lived, and I worked hard at keeping my end of the bargain. 

While in college, I met my future husband, Rich. He was in the music department with me, but was from Massachusetts and much more sarcastic than this little Midwest girl was used to.  We gradually became friends as he would keep me company while I worked in the music department office on an evening shift that followed his.  He was a great escort to concerts and a fun friend…but I was still committed to becoming a nun, since I thought this was the best way to devote my life to God.  Rich used to tell the story of our meeting and “courtship” as him struggling to compete with God for me.

Over winter break of my senior year, I spent one afternoon with the priest from our local church and took the next step to go into a convent at graduation.  The very next day, I received a call from Rich, who said, ever so romantically, “My Mom says we should get married.” I was somewhat taken aback, although I knew (as women tend to know) that he really loved me and wanted to marry me, since he had hinted at it on more than one occasion.  Now here another dilemma presented itself, and certainly another “turning point.”  I told him I would have to get back to him.

After speaking again with our parish priest, his wise advice gave me a new perspective.  He asked: “Don't you believe God could use you as much as a wife and mother as He could use you as a nun?”  He asked if I loved Rich and would be happy serving God by serving him for the rest of my life, and I realized that Rich was my best friend, and I did love him.  I called Rich back and thus began an interesting and very challenging journey for both of us. 

His parents, who seemed wonderfully pleased that their son was getting married, soon became unhappy with our inability to find jobs close to them in Massachusetts. We were, however, able to find jobs in Missouri, so we made plans to settle there. His parents also took issue with some comments I had made concerning the way they treated Rich's father, Bob—who had had a nervous breakdown many years before. My family had a number of members with disabilities or past issues, and we treated them with respect and kindness, not resentment and what I considered rudeness.  Naturally, my blunt frankness was not a welcomed attitude to my future mother-in-law, Eunice.  I had dreamed that I would have a beautiful and close relationship with my mother-in-law, but it was not to be.

Eunice also set our wedding date so that it would be convenient for them. It was not a date I would have chosen, since it was only a week after our college graduation. My final semester had been grueling. I had not been home at all due to my many commitments. So the week before our wedding was filled with showers, the graduations of both of my brothers, and last minute plans for the wedding I needed to help my mother finish.

Then, Rich's parents requested that we take them on a three-day tour of Missouri during that same week. When we told them that it was not possible, they suggested that we take them on our honeymoon for the three days we had between the wedding and Rich starting a new job the following Tuesday.  My father put his foot down about that one, and we would soon learn how many other demands they would make on our lives that would be impossible to fulfill.

The wedding was charged with painful issues and comments, and the wonderful people of our town were shocked by the terrible things Eunice said about me and our family. The following two years brought miscarriages because of the stress of their constant negative communications with us, and through a period of counseling and prayer, we decided to stop communicating with them for a time.  I did let them know when we were expecting our next child, to which they replied, “Until you can get it together, how could you even dare to bring a child into the world?” 

Their entire point of view was that we needed to leave everything in Missouri and move to Massachusetts—even if it meant living on welfare—in order to take care of them. At one point in their anger toward us, they even hired a hitman from the mafia to come hurt us. Rich's brother warned us in time, and we were able to get some police protection.  Even as I share this dark and disturbing period of my life, I realize how good God is to have healed my heart from the many painful and cruel things spoken to me and about me.

About six years later, with two sons and a third on the way, after several stressful moves and job changes—a friend asked me to attend a weekend retreat with her. The Lord had prepared my heart to realize some powerful things about my own need for a Savior.  You see, I really thought I was a pretty good person.  I never committed the really bad or “mortal” sins like murder or other criminal acts. I went to confession every week, so I was cleared of my “venial” or little sins like lying or gossiping.  And, although I realized that Christ had died for sinners, I believed I probably wasn't one of those who really needed Him to die for me.

My arrogance and warped perspective of my blessed Savior's sacrifice broke my heart that weekend.  Through the speakers and prayer time, I also realized that I had tried desperately to be my husband's Holy Spirit for the years we had been married.  That weekend became another “turning point” for me as I asked my dear Lord Jesus to be MY savior. 

Almost a decade passed and Rich's parents still had not met our children. We were living in Dallas, Texas at the time, and after much prayer and seeking God's heart, we realized that there were serious areas of unforgiveness towards his parents that we needed to address.  After almost nine years of not communicating with them, we decided to invite them to visit us. To our surprise, they agreed and showed up the week before Easter. We tried to show them the love of Jesus in many ways, and encouraged our children to do the same.  At the end of the visit, although Eunice had spoken very little to me, Bob asked Rich if we were some of those “born again” types.  After his quick, firm response that yes we were, Bob laughed and said they were just wondering. 

That was the beginning of many years of trying to rebuild the relationship. I feel it is important to understand that during my husband's childhood, and after his father's breakdown, Rich was badly abused, beaten physically and abused verbally and emotionally.  He had often laid his body over his younger brother to protect him from the abuse. Rich and I spent many hours praying for the strength to forgive and move forward with his parents.  I read one of Catherine Marshall's books and actually followed her example in burning all of the terrible letters we had been sent and the journal of all the wrongs committed against us, before we invited them back into our lives. Another turning point.

In 1997, we actually chose to move closer to Massachusetts and to Rich's parents, when we moved to Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. Up to this point, Rich's younger brother had lived within an hour or two from their parents but then had to move to Mississippi for work.  We knew it was our turn to help care for his parents. This time together gave us many opportunities for the children to get to know their grandparents better, and for us to share the Gospel with them (as many times as the Lord allowed). 

As Rich's parents watched us loving and caring for them, their hearts began to soften. When Eunice discovered she had cancer, she asked me to share the Gospel with her again, which I gladly did.  Although she did not respond immediately, as we drove home from Massachusetts that beautiful fall day, I felt a real peace.  Finally, in 2010, Eunice accepted Christ as her Savior. This woman who disliked me for so long had become my sister in the Lord! I was by her side during her final moments several weeks later. I promised that I would continue to share the Gospel with her husband. I could see her relax, and within a very few minutes, she went into the presence of the Lord. 

Bob moved to Mississippi with Rich's brother, and within a year he also came to know the Lord. He changed dramatically and apologized to us for all the difficult years they had given us.  We communicate regularly with him and have been down to visit, and he has come to visit us. 

God works in mysterious ways, His goals to accomplish. But this I know: He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond what we even know to ask, when we choose to forgive and obey His command to love as HE loves.

Jenni Poole has been married to Rich for 45 years. They have three married sons and four “perfect” granddaughters. Jenni has been actively involved in East Stroudsburg United Methodist Church in Pennsylvania for almost 22 years, including Stephen Ministry. (Stephen Ministry will be featured in our ministry blog on September 20.) She also has been actively involved in Bible Study Fellowship and many homeschooling groups—having started the Pocono Christian Home Education Center (PCHEC) in 1998 and directed it for 6 years.  She remains part of community and church choral groups and is a member of the Philanthropic Educational Organization supporting women's education. Jenni has served as a volunteer peer counselor for the Pregnancy Resource Center of the Poconos for over 21 years and was active in pro-life ministry before moving to the Poconos.